This past week was spent with a stirring in my heart. This was provoked by my reading Bonhoeffer’s book The Cost of Discipleship. In the memoir, written about his life, Bonhoeffer was spoken of very highly not only for his commitment to Christ, but also his ability to use his mind and pen to wrestle with theological issues of his faith during his time in prison. One of the most striking topics is his contrast of “cheap grace” and “costly grace.” He speaks of cheap grace as preaching of forgiveness without repentance, baptism without church discipline, and communion without confession.”
While these are just a few things contained in a much larger list, he then describes costly grace as “pearl of great price” and the gospel which must be sought again and again, the gift that must be asked for, the door at which a man must knock.” In other words, if our faith does not cost anything, demand anything, change anything, it is cheap grace. Bonhoeffer summarizes this idea by stating that “it cost God His Son’s life” (Bonhoeffer, 1963)
As I thought about cheap grace and costly grace, I wondered how much it has cost me to follow Christ. How much has following Christ caused me to change? Am I praying more or less? Am I sharing the gospel more intensely than before? What personal pain and trouble have I encountered for claiming my faith in Christ? Although I realize that pain and suffering should probably not be sought, I deeply considered the grace given to me and realized that my life is no comparison to the pain and death Bonhoeffer and literally millions of others experienced at the hands of an evil regime under Hitler.
I also realized that the pain, suffering, and rejection Christ experienced in no way compares to anything I have ever experienced. However, it caused me to seriously consider how far I have taken up my cross and followed Jesus. I shamefully admit that I have fallen under cheap grace and my steps of faith have at many times given out while ascending the mountains of trial.
I thank my Lord Jesus for climbing that hill, beaten, broken, and bleeding and taking my sin upon Himself to give me life! Yet, my heart stirs and wrestles, hoping and waiting that God would consider using me in some profound way that might cost me something, maybe even my life! For what has it cost to follow Christ, is it a cheap or costly grace?
While this may seem like I am asking God for pain and suffering, please note that the stirring in my heart is to be used of God in a way that will impact where I am. Some might say that God will use you where you are. Indeed, God will do this, however, there are certain people in history that realized to some extent what Christ had done on their behalf and they were changed forever. Therefore, I stand in awe of God for all those who have contributed to the cause of the Gospel and I pray God use me in simple ways, use me in local ways, use me in difficult ways, and maybe even in global ways! The stirring of costly discipleship.
